Hi, I’m Desiree and this is my blog. For a long time I’ve wanted something to call my own but I just haven’t known what that something looked like until recently. It was during one of life’s downs when I found the fire in me to start a blog. I love that I can help people while doing something for myself and for my family. So welcome new friends. Brew your cup of coffee and join me as we discuss topics like self care, family fun, urban homesteading, and finance.
Childhood
I was born in a small town in Michigan a few days before Halloween of ’89. My parents were both very young. My mom was 17 and my dad was 19. They rented a house with my grandma where I spent the first 4 years of my life. I still remember bits and pieces of that place. One of my favorite memories was when my grandma was outside one night and I wanted to go out to be with her. She welcomed me to join her and we looked at the stars together. She taught me where the big dipper was. Then she asked me if I wanted to scare my mom and dad and I thought that sounded funny so we made our way to the other door of the house and crept inside. I remember her laughing very hard as my parents were startled.
When I was close to turning 5 years old we moved into a more permanent house out in the country of the same city. This house had a huge yard and a small stream that ran through at the bottom of the hills but the home itself was very old and worn down. I remember growing up with tales that in the backyard there was a Native American burial ground so in my kid head I always felt connected with the land and would sit in that area and picture what the people were like and what they used to do. There was something very magical but at times creepy about that place.
The house was a 3 bedroom 1 bath with an old Michigan basement. My grandma had a room directly below mine so our rooms were equal in size which was very small and lacking closets. I remember the old worn out wooden floors upstairs and the smell of the unpainted drywall in the summer. I remember how the steps would creak as you walked up them and how there was a light switch at the bottom of the steps and one at the top and if you turned the bottom one off the top one wouldn’t turn on, which made it scary at night to go down the stairs to use the bathroom. I was an only child but there were many times my aunt and cousins would come to live with us while being in between places so I felt like my cousins were my siblings. I had a pretty happy childhood. My grandma and dad worked to pay for the house and purchasing the things we needed for life and my mom stayed at home and managed the family, cleaning, cooking and doing a wonderful job raising me.
Middle school years
This was a big transition time for me. In 6th grade my parents decided to get a divorce. I wasn’t getting along with my dad and my mom was going through depression so I had experienced a side to her I never seen before. My aunt had moved back in. My mom and aunt were working at a gas station were my mom had met her then boyfriend. My dad was in and out of apartments trying to settle and introducing me to new girlfriends he had. School life was uncomfortable because I had moved out of my small country elementary to a bigger school in town where all the elementary schools in our town joined. I was very shy, introverted and have always suffered from social anxiety. My moms boyfriend moved in. Eventually my aunt had moved back out. By 7th grade we had to move to a different house that my family could afford. This was a pretty dark time for me. I was trying to fit in with a crowd at school that my mom didn’t approve of, I didn’t see my cousins, my mom was still battling depression and I was still adjusting to her being a working mom. Through it all I did have one constant friend, Amanda in my life. We had met in kindergarten. In 8th grade I had gym class with a girl named Cecilia that I had went to elementary school with. We would talk and hang out during class, she was friends with Amanda too. That same year I took an English Class with a girl named Michelle who I ended up becoming friends with too. Cecilia also happened to be friends with Michelle and we very quickly became a group of four best friends. The became more than best friends really, the kind that are just an extension of family.
High School
Somewhere around 9th grade my mom left her boyfriend and we moved out to a house in town just a few blocks from my high school. My mom began going to college and working for the college as well as an ice cream shop. My grandma still worked at a nursing home. Cecilia had convinced me to try out for cheerleading which was completely out of my element. I was the kid in 8th grade who dressed in all black and just went to the beat of my own drum. I obliged and we both ended up making the team, along with Amanda. My life really started to turn around and I found myself being very happy. In 9th grade I had home room with this boy named Brett that made me feel nervous and gave me butterflies, he’d always pass notes and try to joke with me. In 10th grade Brett and I had more classes together. He was always joking around and kept telling everyone he was going over to my house on Friday. I was so scared because I never had a boy come over before and I knew it wouldn’t go over well with my mom. To my surprise she said he could come over so Friday we walked to my house together and he was so nervous he listened to his music the entire walk and didn’t talk to me. We watched a movie and my mom made us dinner then he left. Not long after we started dating and we got really close really fast. High school was a high point in my life. My family ended up moving again, we were still in town but this time only 10 blocks from Brett’s house. We lived in a duplex and my aunt and cousins ended up moving into the other side of the duplex. Cilia soon moved 9 blocks up the street from me as well. Everyone felt super close.
Next Phase
As we graduated high school I had found myself feeling depressed and scared. Brett and I had split up so he could focus on joining the military. All around me my friends were leaving which included my friends Michelle and Amanda. Again everything was changing and I was scrambling to figure life out as my dreams of going to a University had slipped away due to financial strains. With assistance from my mom I ended up going to the community college there in my hometown. Originally I had joined to be a vet tech but I realized a year into it that I don’t like blood so then I switched to a degree in Business with a minor in marketing. My family also moved again into a house that my mom’s boyfriend was purchasing. As I tried to navigate this new part of life Michelle switched life plans and came home. A little while later she had decided that she wanted to take a road trip to go back and visit her old college and asked if I wanted to swing by Virginia and say hello to Brett. Very excitedly I agreed and we were off. Brett and I discussed getting back together and shortly after I was moving from Michigan to Virginia, leaving my loved ones behind. I transferred to online college to finish my degree.
Virginia
After a year spent in Virginia, Brett and I decided to get married. The following year he experienced his first deployment. We put what little stuff we had in storage, left our apartment and I went back to Michigan to spend the 9 months with my friends and family while he lived life on a ship. It’s such an odd feeling to have your heart in two different places. When he got back from deployment we had a lot of marital issues. We decided to work on our relationship and focused on communication. In 2013 we bought our first pet together. Our cat Uri. Although I felt things had shattered, life started to feel on the up and up again. We found out we were being sent to Hawaii but first Brett had to spend 6 months in school in Great Lakes Illinois. We had the military pack up our belongings and left with Uri to Great Lakes.
Illinois
During our 6 month stay in Illinois we lived in a hotel room where I finished my degree and my husband attended school for his new job specialty. I was able to take the train to Michigan and visit my family. My dad even got to make a trip out to Great Lakes to visit. That was a great trip. I rode the train with him from Battlecreek to Chicago. When we got to Chicago we had to catch another train to go to Great Lakes. I remember racing him to the other train. We were scared we would miss it but it became a game to try to beat him to the other station. I could see an escalator up ahead next to a set of stairs. I bolted up the escalator as he chose the stairs. Silly choice I thought but then I looked over and he was keeping up with me running up the stairs. We still laugh about it. After Illinois it was time to say goodbye to my family and head off to Hawaii.
Hawaii
The move to Hawaii was very chaotic. In order to move with a pet you have to follow a very strict set of rules so that your pet doesn’t have to be quarantined as you arrive. They don’t have rabies on the island and this is their precaution to make sure it remains that way. It also took a really long time to get our belongings. We moved into military housing and finally after about 45 days we got our stuff. I loved our house. It was the first time we had a “yard” of our own. The yard was just a little strip of grass attached to a patio and was all fenced in. It was little but it was ours and it was amazing. It was here that we started to get into refurbishing type projects. During Hawaii we celebrated our 10 year anniversary of being together so we took a trip to Alaska. Alaska was beautiful. We rented a vehicle and stayed in this very cozy cabin bed and breakfast. Coming from Hawaii the roads in Alaska felt enormous. Also while we lived in Hawaii we were fortunate enough to have two of our very good friends from Virginia live on the island as well. I also had Michelle and Cecilia visit as well as my parents. During my moms visit we went on a hike and as we passed some bushes that were growing under a lychee tree I heard an on snorting sound that at first I didn’t recognize. My husband went to investigate and I had realized it was a wild boar. My mom and I took off running. It’s a hilarious memory to us looking back on it.
Virginia for the second time
Shortly after we moved back to Virginia we found out we were expecting our son. We hurried to purchase our first home. Unfortunately Brett’s new command was very demanding and he was hardly home. What little time he did spend home we worked to create a nursery and remodle our house. In November of 2017 we decided to add a new furry family member, our cat Nebel. In May of 2018 we celebrated the birth of our son. It wasn’t long and Brett was right back at work nearly constantly, there were many underways and another deployment. We had grown apart and I found myself learning to be a mother and running a house by myself while he tried to deal with the lack of personal time as well as family time. When he was home we worked on the house and while he was away the responsibility fell on me. He became angry and I felt bitter. During his deployment I had lost my Grandma. It was a devastating loss for me. I had no friends in Virginia and felt completely isolated. It was difficult to handle grief while being alone, being a parent, renovating a house, and dealing with a crumbling marriage. I was gentle with myself and thankfully time is temporary. In this dark time I learned a lot. I grew a lot. I became stronger. Some days felt unbearable but if it wasn’t for the pain I wouldn’t be who I am today. When deployment ended we began to pick up the pieces. We found out we were moving. There was a lot of back and forth and a lot of stress on where and when we were moving but in the end we ended up being sent to Georgia.
Life Today
We have lived in Georgia nearly a year as I write this. I love it here. It has been my favorite place we’ve lived. Everyday we work on our family life. We work to maintain and strengthen our marriage. We sold our house back in Virginia and have purchased a home for the second time. We have chickens and a garden and I’ve found a fire in me to start this blog and do something great with it. I’m working towards a happier more stable future. I hope you enjoy it and find something useful or motivating. Thank you for reading.